Earlier this afternoon, one of my teachers recommended that I pick up today’s newspaper because she had found some articles relevant to the project I’ll be presenting in about a month. I thought that sounded like a good idea, and since I always do what my teachers ask, I stopped by the grocery store on my way to dinner to pick up a copy. I walked over to the newspapers, but I couldn’t seem to find the one I was looking for. Then I spotted a little stack of newspapers beneath the rack. Sure enough, there it was - “Le Monde.”

When I reached down, I was a little surprised by how small it was. Le Monde is probably the largest newspaper in France, but this newspaper only had about 10 pages front-to-back. I opened it anyway and started to scan for articles related to my project. I flipped through a few pages and all of a sudden, I was looking at a picture of two young women getting ready to kiss each other the French way. My first thought was, “I wonder what this is doing here…” Then I decided, “This is France.” I began reading the article just to find out what that picture was doing in the newspaper, and the title read something like “Study shows that 93% of women in our universe are lesbians.” Well, I just knew that wasn’t true at all, and I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly I was reading. My burgeoning suspicions that it might be something like France’s dirty version of “The Onion” were confirmed when I turned to the next page and saw a large picture of a man and a woman doing something indescribable in the middle of a field (I will only confirm that their upper bodies were clothed). I didn’t bother reading the article this time - I only wanted to put that newspaper away before anybody who might know what it was saw me reading it.

Right before I put it back, I glanced again at the front cover. Turns out, I had been reading “Le Monte.”

(Note: “Le Monte” is currently being pursued by the French President for its transgressions. I never did find “Le Monde”)